Follow Faith

If you have followed this blog for a good amount of time then you know that my family and I have been through some tough seasons. We all know that life in itself throws some curve balls and has some rocky roads. So, when these things happen how do we respond?

For instance, when we got pregnant with my daughter we had no idea that we would soon face a very difficult time putting her into the hands of a surgeon to repair her heart defect. We also had no idea that shortly after her surgery we would lose three jobs between the two of us. We could not have guessed that between surgery, job losses, and miscarriages we would end up forfeiting our home and moving into complete and utter chaos.

See, I find that you can have faith for the moment. You can push through one horrific event with enough faith to surpass it. You might even find enough faith to make it through a couple of struggles. But when you have exprienced one unfortunate circumstance after another for, oh say, four years how much faith is there for you to pick from?

My faith has certainly been tattered in years past. However, just when I think my faith-tank is on empty I am able to muster up enough to make it through the trial I am facing. You see, faith comes from the experiences we face in life. Without trails, we wouldn't need faith. Without faith, we wouldn't reach God's full potential for us. Our faith stretches us to new places. We were never called to make sense of this life but to trust the Creator of this life.

I wouldn't trade the stuff in my life that has led me to rely completely on my God. I wouldn't change the experiences for anything in this world. For my treasures are not of this world but of the eternal that awaits me. God never promised it'd be easy but it will surely be worth it. My faith may be fragile but it will get me where God wants me.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 NLT

It is All About Obedience

On my way home from work today I read a church sign that said, "Do you obey God". My initial answer was, yes. Then I started thinking back to when I was a younger Christian and what I thought obeying God meant. I always thought that to obey God all you had to do was obey the Ten Commandments or the any of the "rules" that were in the Bible. Don't kill, sure. Don't steal, ok. Don't commit adultery, got it. However, now, as I've grown in Him I realize that I was way off base then.

Ten minutes ago I was sitting up on the couch watching the NFL draft with my husband and my son. I felt an impression on my heart to come down and write. My reaction to that was, about what? So, in my delay and resistance it left me (<felt
heard it again but this time it included, "I'll guide you". So, reluctantly (even still) I found myself here--writing.
I have no subject. I have no real thoughts to write. I am still not real sure where this is going! But that is obeying. I don't have to see the big picture because God does. The Ten Commandments didn't tell me to write. But God did. Obedience looks different to each of us because He doesn't tell me to do what He tells you to do. He doesn't tell me to do what He tells my own husband to do. Boy, that is a hard thing to work out, trust me!! Until I truly knew God and listened for Him I never heard Him. After seeking His will and His heart, now I hear Him. And now I can truly obey Him and His desires for me.

"I will keep on obeying your instructions for and ever." Psalm 119:44 (NLT)

Five Things

I refuse to let this blog go another day without a post!! I will not let a whole year pass without writing something, anything! For the sake of no creativity or recent pictures on my computer to post this is the best I could do for the time being.

Top Five Things you Should Know About the Last Year...
1. We have moved. Twice. We are currently embracing vintage living. Our house was built around 1930. My bathroom (the only one we have) was not even original on this house. My washer and dryer are my counter tops in my kitchen. I can tell you are all jealous! But really, it works. We make it work. I love my front porch and the sunsets over the corn fields!!

2. Presley is at a new school that has a swimming pool. She absolutely loves swimming every day and I love that she might be out of floaties by this summer. Her teachers are great and treat her like family. She is still on the small side but as far as health concerns there are none at this time.

3. Triston will be 12 in just a month. I am trying to wrap my thoughts around the fact that he will be a teenager in a year. He is all wrapped up in baseball season and looking forward to trying out for the basketball team at his school in a few weeks.

4. Daniel has been through 12 months of barber school, passed his boards, and is currently fading guys up at a salon here in town. He has been working for 3 months now and he so loves it. He has definitely found his niche.

5. We are serving in several areas at church. We have been from the children's ministry, to nursery age, to the youth group. We love being in the youth services on Wednesday nights. These kids are pressing in for more of God and we love seeing it! I am taking on a class on Sunday mornings full of 3 year olds. I winged it last week due to some teachers cancelling and God just filled me heart with smiles from these kiddos! It is great seeing God move at our church!

Well, that is a very generic run-down of the last 12 months. There is so much more I could share, I'm sure. But for now I will just vow to get some more post going up soon!

After His Heart

In the recent months I have been vigorously seeking to know God in a deep way. In several facet of my life He is teaching me how to hear Him, how to notice His voice above all else. My eyes have been opened to different ways of communicating with the Lord. It has made me realize that communicating with Him is not just rambling on about my needs and wants it is also carefully listening to what He wants  for me.  It is such an overwhelming feeling to be prayerfully seeking something and sit here in my chair and feel God’s arms wrapped around me. It is like he is saying to me, “I hear you and I’ve got you”!   As I grow closer and closer to Him I find myself worshipping in the oddest places, talking to Him constantly and reaching for His word all the time. So many times, the word I get from Him will come back to me in Sunday’s sermon or during a conversation with a friend.   I was driving to work last week while listening to the Christian radio station. A song came on and I started to sing. As I sang, I made that song my prayer. I told God I loved Him and asked Him to just love on me for a moment. Have you ever had that time in your car? I am still trying to figure out how to drive while raising my hands and see through my tears. Tears of overflowing joy of course! If your close to Him, if your seeking Him, you can worship Him no matter where you are. Praise God!   In our bible study Sunday morning we were speaking of the habits of a disciple. The one we learned about this past Sunday was living a Spirit-led life. Some people get scared when that word “spirit” comes up. I used to as well. I have always known there is a trinity and that the Holy Spirit is the third part of that trinity. But I never knew exactly why. I knew the purpose of the other two portions but not the spirit. I know so much more about him now and I love to experience even more. I love his presence. I will feel his presence after just sitting at work praising God for a few minutes. We can call on him and he will appear to us. How comforting. That is what the Bible says he is anyway, a comforter (John 14:16). The Holy Spirit will speak to me and he will speak through me!

It's 2012, Ba-by!!

Sinner! We took advantage of having no kids this morning and we skipped church and slept in. Probably not the best way to start a new year but I don't think God will send hell and brimstone our way for it!

However, when I woke up this morning and turn the TV on it was on Joel Osteen's program. Now, you may or may not agree with him and his ways but the message he was speaking this morning did spark some interest for me. He was speaking from Jeremiah and how he was told he would be a prophet. When told this Jeremiah responded with negativity and doubt. Here God called this man to be something and Jeremiah answered with "No, not me, I am too young." How often do we do that? God calls us to something and we just keep giving Him excuses as to why we can't do that. I have made too many mistakes or I don't know the Bible or I don't have time.
I, myself, could stand to put down my negativity and put on the spirit of Christ. Let Him lead me through what He has called for me. I should embrace each day with "blessings chasing me down" and make that my anthem for the good things God has for me and my family.

Now, I already know 2012 will bring some major change for us. And by change I mean some uncomfortable living situations, time away from my spouse, busyness of school and work and kids, financial woes, etc. But I won't let those challenges keep me from the gifts God will bring. He doesn't promise me a world of hurt but an overwhelming peace in Him. So, agree with Joel Osteen or not, God spoke through him this morning and for that I am thankful!

Sidebar...I asked Daniel this morning if he remembered what we did for New Year's in 2010. He or I neither one remember!! And I don't think it's because we were so intoxicated that we can't remember! So, I am making note right here, right now that on NYE 2011 we celebrated with some fabulous people. Our friends Jessica and Lee were gracious enough to have us and our friends Kristy and Chad over for the evening. We had lots of good food and even more laughs. Our girls are all around the same age and even though mine didn't join us at the party it was fun to watch them play. The boys watched the UFC fights and us girls talked all night. The sad part came around 11:30 when Daniel said he was tired and ready to go home! What?! Who leaves a NYE party just before the strike of midnight. Well, we did!! Happy New Year to all!!!

Satan and his lies

Sometimes I think about the place that God has us right now and I have all the wrong emotions. I will stir up jealousy, envy, doubt and so on. I have to remember that those things are lies from Satan. He tricks us oh so well. The truth is God brought us here for a reason and a purpose. Although I may feel like friendships were taken from us, that's not the case. He is only bringing us those true friendships that He has formed. I find myself very thankful for God's omnipotence. I am glad He has the answers that I don't. Most of all, I'm glad I have the faith to trust Him in all of this. I am thankful for friends near and far but I am abundantly grateful for a new found friend that God designed! And, Satan, your lies are not welcome here. I will rejoice in what I have not what I thought I had.

How Much Hope Does One Girl Need

My church had a women's event tonight. I love this time with my girls. I will admit it has been a challenge to change churches and find our place. But I have formed some friendships that I can already tell are lifelong. So, to get to spend time with some of them bonding, crying and laughing only strengthens that relationship.

Tonight our pastor's wife spoke on HOPE. I think in general people hear this word and don't put much thought into it. You hear things like, "I hope you have a good day", "I hope my daughter sleeps in tomorrow", "I hope the Vols don't suck so bad next year", etc. How often do we say it in passing everyday?

After the week I had last week hope is something I was lacking to say the least. My husband is in full force school and work mode. We are in holiday hectic-ness and things could not have gotten any more crazy...or so I thought. Monday was calm. Tuesday started the madness. My husband called me about 2 minutes after I got to work. His tire had busted on the interstate on his way to school. He went to put the spare on and there was no jack. I left work and took him a jack but the lug nut wrench would not fit his wheel. So, we left the car and he took me back to work. Then he went on trying to get the tire changed. While doing so he re-injured his back. He does this about once a year and it means several days of him being flat on his back. He could not work for three days. The worst part of that is we are so tight on money that we did not have any for him to see a doctor just for them to say wait it out and here is some pain medicine. So, when Daniel went back to work on Friday without a doctor's excuse he could not work. This only means one less day's pay for the next paycheck. Things just kept creeping up on us making the week more and more stressful!

So, tonight while listening to the message she said something that had literally crossed my lips just two days ago. She said something like, I hate to hear people say I have no hope left and I should just be used to this by now. I promise you I said that to a co worker just Friday afternoon.

I feel like this is the life I have lived since Presley was born. It has been one unexpected trial after another. A longer maternity leave due to illness, a major surgery, two job losses, a miscarriage and now school and part-time work/pay. And hope has been scarce.

How shameful of me to have no hope in circumstances as these. How terribly sad that I have experienced some trials and travelled some bumpy roads and abandoned the one thing God gives me to hold on to. To sit and listen to her say that the very words I said were so hard for her to hear was life changing.

For me to think that the things I am living each day are exclusive to me and my family is so far from the truth. And for me to think that God will leave me with no hope is a lie from Satan. God spoke truth in me tonight. He has hope for me. He has hope for my situation and I will never let go of that.