Monday, June 15, 2009

Mother May I?

I have learned a lot of things since birthing my child, hence, becoming a parent. Somethings have been so wonderful to learn. Like, per say, how much you love your child. Whether they are "good" or "bad" you love them nonetheless. Or like how no matter what you do your child adores you and the ways they show that they adore you. All of these things are such a blessing.

Then there are the things that have been not-so-fun to learn. For instance, how much sleep you lose or how little "me" time there is. Of course, in return you get to be with your offspring instead! These things can still be hard to deal with.

But there is one thing in particular that I have absolutely despised learning as a "new" parent. That is that no matter what you do you cannot and will not please everyone. The thing about this that is so hard for me is I am the kind of parent that feels that if it is my child I will do things my way. In my opinion, if its my child then my way is the right if, ands, or buts about it! Stubborn or it what you may but it is my nature!!

So, since I have learned these things through experience I do have a slight chip on my shoulder. I am irritated that my parenting skills or decisions are questioned. I am irritated that my improvement over time has not overcome some people's opinions. As far as I am concerned, I did ALL the work to get my child into this world therefore, I have the righ to do as I please. I am not neglectful or cruel in any way to my kids. I just feel some people should just be quiet!!

For those of you who are parents you probably know how difficult it is to inform your friends and family of certain decisions you have made for your child and then hear all the opinions of your loved ones (especially if you have family members like we do). At times, I want to inform them that I was not born yesterday. I have made it in this world twenty-five years and am still breathing. My kids will be okay under my supervision, I promise!! And do not even try to undermind me. If I say no, then no it is!!! That must be a very hard concept for grandparents!!

So, you can imagine how difficult it must be when you are not only making decisions for your biological child but also for your not-blood-related child as well. Not only do you have to discuss with your spouse your decisions and at times feel like you have to defend your decisions; you also have to defend them with the whole "village". I agree that it takes a village to raise some children. And I love that God has blessed me with a child that I did not have to labor for hours to have! But I must say the labor and sweat and tears that are put into him now must mean that God has big plans for him.

We make a lot of choices for both of our kids. What food to eat, what school to attend, what time is bed time, to wear long sleeves or short...and so on. When you get questioned for the choice you made it makes your whole world feel worthless, pointless, idiotic, stupid, and so on. You get what I am saying. We have come very far in our lives only to see lots of progress in a lot of areas. We have seen one of our kids make better decisions and have better manners and be better behaved in general. Which is such a wonderful praise. We have seen major improvements in one of our kids health and growth and well-being. I think overall we make good decisions for our kids and ourselves. I just can't help but feel ridiculed and bashed from outsiders with all their questions and comments.

I guess we ask for it at times...sharing all of our thoughts to others. So, yes we medicate our son and yes we send our kids to day care. But most importantly, our kids are loved and will forever be loved. Don't question that much!!

No comments: