Friday we got a call from Triston's school. Never a good sign! It was the assistant principal and she said that Triston needed to tell us about an incident that happened on the playground. So, in his normal fashion, Triston owned up to the happenings and said that he tackled a kid on the playground and tripped him and possibly tried to put him in a head lock.
After talking to Tris, Daniel got back on the phone with the assistant principal and asked her why she can't paddle for this kind of thing. We agree with the school that if our child makes a poor choice he should receive a consequence. She said that paddling is their last resort but that we could leave work and come up to the school and do that if we liked. (Ha!) Anyway, so they decided they would give him a detention.
So, when I picked Triston up Friday he explained to me what happened. He said the other boy picked up the football and was throwing it at Triston. He said the other boy claimed to be throwing it with Triston but he felt as though he was throwing it at him. He said at one point it almost his him in the face. Triston told me, "if I had a video I could prove it!" I explain to Triston that there are better choices for him to make in that situation and he agreed and gave me some options of those better choices. During the conversation I wondered what the other child received as a consequence. When I asked Triston he told me nothing!!! You heard me, nothing!
Two children were involved in an incident, went to the office with two different stories (claiming their innocence), and one got a pretty harsh sentence and the other got nothing.
I was livid. I began rehearsing what I was going to say to that assistant principal when I got in touch with her. Then, I got a phone call. It was from Triston's teacher. She told me that when she walked the boys to the office she proceeded to tell the assistant principal that the other boy provoked Triston until he got so mad he reacted. She told her that and she still did not punish the other boy. Now that just added fuel to my fire!!
I was baffled. I was enraged. I still am. I can't wait to express my feelings about the way the situation was handled. Not that I think Triston should not have received the punishment he did. But I do think the other boy, being the instigator, should have received some sort of punishment. So, I am curious. What would you do?
*Let me also say that I have a lot of "things" I could say about how this is a vital time in a child's life and how badly they need good leadership and examples of the authority at their schools. How consistency is so important for them to see early on in their schooling. But I won't!
2 comments:
I think you are completely in the RIGHT to be enraged. The other child should have a punishment just like Triston to say the least...in my opinion it is sometimes the "instigators" that cause children to take such extreme actions. Obviously this kid pushed Triston to far, and while (as a Mom) I know we can't tell our kids it's "ok" to tackle someone at the same time I will not tell my son that he should allow someone to continually bully and push him to a point that he feels he can't control the situation. The teacher did the right thing as well and for an assistant principal to not punish BOTH boys sure does make you wonder WHY?!?!?! Good luck, girl!! Don't ever mess with Mama Bears!!!
If the teacher saw him being bullied (which is what I call having a football thrown at your face) I would ask why it wasn't addressed before it escalated. Granted, T didn't handle it perfectly, but that is because he is a kid. Part of what he learns during these young years is how to handle situations like this. I'm sorry he is having to deal with this. It sounds like you are doing the best you can which is to make it a learning experience.
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