Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I Am Supposed to Feel Better Now

I got the call. Carolyn. I have a feeling she and I will be talking quite often. She is Dr. Christian's (Presley's surgeon) scheduler. She called me yesterday to schedule our appointments. I have been awaiting her call in hopes that I would have some relief from this anxiety. Well, boy was I wrong. I do not feel relief. I do not feel a bit of peace. If anything I feel more scared now than I did before. I remember feeling the butterflies in my stomach as she talked with me.

Presley's pre-op appointment is set for August 10th. From what I understand this will be a consultation with the surgeon, lots of paperwork, and a visit with good ol' Dr. M. Surgery is scheduled for September 9th. However, on September 8th we will be going to the hospital for pre-op tests. We will do another echo, get all her vitals, and another chest x-ray as well. We will come home that night and return to the hospital the next morning for surgery. That is about how far I have gotten.

Maybe this new found fear is coming from knowing that now there is no turning back. It is in the books. There is no more wait and see. We have moved past that. I know it is what is best. And I know that God is in control. I just have to realize that there are going to be days like this. There will be inevitable emotions that come along on this journey.

1 comment:

The Writer Chic said...

Oh heart breaks that you have to endure this. I'm praying so hard for God's peace to kick in soon.